Fifty for the year I turn 50

In my last post, I talked about a draft of my 50 things to do in the year I turn 50. I am now finalizing the list. Because of the schedule for some events is not yet out and there are few commitments I have regarding traveling for work, I am also establishing some alternatives that will take the place of any item I cannot complete for reasons such as money, time, schedule, weather, etc. I hope to blog a lot as I complete these events. If you have any ideas for alternatives, please comment!

My 50 Epic and Not so Epic Things to do during the year I turn 50

1. Commitment day 5k -- signed up and ready to go

2. Volunteer at a soup kitchen -- likely do this in spring/summer

3. Learn to play the banjo -- I have taken lessons and know how to play some notes but now I am going to get serious about it.

4. Two minute plank -- I have done a 100 seconds in the past but can comfortably do one minute...going to build up to 120 seconds

5. Republic Plaza Stair Climb -- event in February, signed up and money raised

6. Climb a 14er -- Attempted last year and got to 13,600 feet before being freaked out by the rock field. I am going to get to the top this year.

7. Take a cooking class

8. Photo a day for a year -- I will be happy with an average of five photos a week as a photo each day could be a bit stressful but I am going to shoot for a photo a day.

9. Steel Challenge

10. September 11th Stair Climb

11. Deadlift 200 pounds -- I can currently deadlift about 135-145 from the floor (multiple reps, not sure what my one rep max is); more from the rack

12. Hike in Moab

13. Tattoo of periwinkle to honor my sister's memory -- I already have the design, just need to find the artist.

14. Manitou Incline to the top four times.... I want to be 15 minutes faster than in the past -- I have to look up my times

15. Make soap

16. Volunteer at a no kill shelter or rescue

17. Paddle board

18. White water rafting -- This one scares me a lot.

19. Read Moby Dick

20. Write and share poetry

21. Triple Dog Dare -- Tried to do it this year but the weather did not cooperate for the trip.

22. Spend the day at the Metropolitan Museum and go through wings I never would in the past

23. 100 days sugar/caffeine free -- Going to start with a 21 day detox (with real food) in January. Indulged in a bit of gluten, dairy and sugar this holiday season as well as too much sugar. I need to get back to what I know makes me feel the best.

24. 5,000,000 steps -- I should get even more but this is more than 13,000 steps a day.

25. Ride a mechanical bull -- Tim wants me to send out save the date cards and another friend said I should use it as a fund raised for the 3 day walk in November. We will see.

26. Body wrap/mud bath -- This may not seem like a big deal but as someone that really does not like to be touch, it is WAY outside my comfort zone.

27. Pay for someone's lunch/Starbucks unexpectedly

28. Learn to make gluten free pasta from scratch

29. Do a pull up -- This is a pretty aggressive goal but I am working on it already.

30. Go fishing

31. Snowshoe -- Hopefully this will be the Romp to Stomp on March 1st

32. Mud run/obstacle run -- Maybe the Diva Dash again....or Dirty Girl.

33. Make sauerkraut -- Fermenting food scares me but I am going to try.

34. Volunteer at a local charity race

35. New River Gorge Bridge Walk in West Virginia -- Here is another one that really scares me. I am not a fan of heights.

36. Three day walk for Breast Cancer -- The fund raising part of this frightens me and definitely will make me step outside of the comfort box.
37. 25 burpees without rest (good form) -- Right now I can do about 8 to 10 in okay form. Need to get to work on them.

38. Run/walk half marathon -- I did a half in 2012. It was horrible. I almost quit. This time I want to be smarter about it. I will either do one in West Virginia or one in Wisconsin/Michigan with my brother.

39. Do Olympic distance triathlon -- I will likely do this as a non-event. That is, on my own at the gym. I am not sure I am ready for an actual event like this.

40. Visit Arkansas -- The next four kind of go together. If I visit these four states, I will have been to every state.

41. Visit Alabama

42. Visit North Dakota

43. Visit Hawaii

44. Eat raw oysters

45. Tent camp -- I miss camping.

46. See the sunrise at the ocean

47. Box jump (small box) -- TERRIFIED of this....totally a mental block when it comes to box jumps.
48. Koko Head trail hike in Hawaii or alternatively some sort of rock/cliff jump into the ocean, depending on where I stay.
49. Wear smaller jeans by December 31st -- I stopped setting weight loss goals a few years ago because of what they do to me mentally but I can definitely shoot to be wearing a smaller size in a year. I did it the past two years without issue.

50.Share a very expensive bottle of champagne -- I will be looking for volunteers for this item!

Alternate list

Take a Finnish Language class

Whale watch trip in zodiac boat 
Day out with a five year old, doing the things they want to do

Paint pottery

Climb the rock wall at the gym
Participate in a flash mob
?????? 

Machu Picchu will have to wait...

I toyed with the idea of making a big trip this coming year. After watching "A Football Life" episode about Steve Gleason (a New Orleans Saints player who is now living with ALS), I wanted to go to Machu Picchu to hike. It seemed like the right thing to do in 2014 and would be a challenge that I never thought I would take on. But I have been thinking more and more about 2014 and have decided that Machu Picchu will have to wait.

You see, in November of 2014, I turn 50 years old. For me, age has never been a big deal. I always think of all my friends and acquaintances being of the same age. I turned 30 with glee. A big surprise party was fun on my 40th. But I already feel like this new decade is going to be an issue. I guess in many ways, I thought I would have been doing epic things by the time I was 50. That I would be in a position that goals were being met. Now, don't get me wrong. I have done some things that, if I think about where I was a few years ago, amaze me but there is so much more I want to be able to do.

A friend at the gym asked me to participate in the Susan G. Komen Three Day Walk in San Diego. The walk is November 21st through the 23rd. I have long wanted to participate in an event like this but the funding raising aspect has always terrified me. I spoke with some friends and thought a lot about it. I signed up. I am committing to the fund raising and feel good about it. I also think that this will give me an opportunity to celebrate my sister's life. Even though it was not breast cancer that she was diagnosed with, I truly believe that if we can make progress with any type of cancer, it will go a long way in helping understand all types of cancer. More than anything, I want to honor my sister's memory.

This commitment then grew into a list of 50 things I want to do in the year I turn 50. I think this will help me ease myself into this new decade. Here is the current draft of my list. I do think some things will change over the next few days. There may also be some changes throughout the year (my list, my rules). If I can accomplish these things on this list, it will be an enormously fulfilling year. Some of these items I would do anyway but they are still things that I would never have considered doing a few years ago. Some of the items terrify me....but that's a good thing, right?

So, here is the draft of the list right now:

My 50 Epic and Not so Epic Things to do during the year I turn 50

1. Commitment day 5k (likely walking it as my ankle has been bothering me)

2. Volunteer at a soup kitchen

3. Learn to play the banjo

4. Two minute plank

5. Republic Plaza Stair Climb

6. Climb a 14er

7. Take a cooking class

8. Photo a day for a year

9. Participate in a flash mob

10. September 11th Stair Climb

11. Dead lift 200 pounds

12. Hike in Moab

13. Tattoo of periwinkle to honor my sister's memory

14. Finish the Manitou Incline 15 minutes faster than in the past (I have to look up my times)

15. Make soap

16. Volunteer at a no kill shelter or rescue

17. Paddle board

18. White water rafting

19. Read Moby Dick

20. Write and share poetry

21. Triple Dog Dare

22. Spend the day at the Metropolitan Museum and go through wings I never would in the past

23. 100 days sugar/caffeine free

24. Steel Challenge

25. Take a Finnish Language class

26. Paint pottery with a five year old

27. Pay for someone's lunch/Starbucks unexpectedly

28. Learn to make gluten free pasta from scratch

29. Do a pull up

30. Go fishing

31. Snowshoe

32. Mud run/obstacle run

33. Climb the rock wall at the gym

34. Make sauerkraut

35. Volunteer at a local race

36. Stair climb in another state

37. Three day walk for Breast Cancer
38. 25 burpees without rest (good form)

39. Run/walk half maration

40. Do Olympic distance triathlon

41. Visit the four states I have not yet been in (Arkansas, Alabama, North Dakota, and Hawaii)

42. Eat raw oysters

43. Tent camp

44. See the sunrise at the ocean

45. 5,000,000 steps
46. Box jump (small box)
47. Koko Head trail hike in Hawaii
48. New River Gorge Bridge Walk in West Virginia
49. Whale watch trip in zodiac boat
50. Wear smaller jeans by December 31st

Again this is just the first draft. In the next few days, I will be reviewing this list with the calendar to see what all is possible.

Machu Picchu will have to wait until 2015....but 2014 will still be a great year. 

When do you learn to accept compliments????

I recently had a business trip to New Jersey/New York. I have not seen many of these people since a year ago. A lot of things have changed in a year. I have definitely lost weight but mostly I have lost lots of inches and changes in body composition.

Over and over again, I heard comments about "how good I looked." I was questioned about many things....like "you're not sick are you?" (my company is actually filled with a lot of sincerely caring people). 

I would pretty much just wave off the comments and go on my merry way. I am learning to say thank you most of the time but really I still have a ways to go so it is hard to always view how much I have accomplished in the same eyes of others. I don't mean that I am not proud of how far I have come...because I am...but all I can think of is that I have long ways to go and how much I wish I was closer to whatever point I will think that I am close to "normal" size. 

When I got back from the trip, I was stopped at the gym by a client of my trainer who also said that she had wanted to tell me how much change she could see. Okay, now she is a total stranger and just someone at the gym....the one place I like to be anonymous....in the corner...not noticed...but I said thank you and moved on.

Some day I will know how to accept compliments and not feel so awkward.

In brighter news, I did the sprint tri distances at the gym this morning. I was painfully slow but I did it all. I even jogged most of the 5K at the end...with my fastest 1/4 mile at the end. This is the second time I have done the full distances. I do think I cut a bit of time off on the bike and the run....but the swim was so slow. I am not an efficient swimmer at all. I need to work on that. I am actually considering if I can do an olympic distance tri (for REAL) next year....maybe.

Jumping jacks are so much easier these days

I had a realization tonight at boxing. I do jumping jacks now. A year ago when I first started boxing again, I would totally whimp out on the jumping jacks....and there's a lot of jumping jacks in a single class. Well, I don't any more. For the most part, I do full jumping jacks when they come up in a workout.

A small sign of progress but progress nonetheless.

A couple of things....

Thanks to all for the condolences on the loss of my sister. It was definitely one of the most difficult and saddest weeks of my life. There were, however, some things I would like to note.

First, it was a long road trip and I went solo because we were not sure what was actually happening or how long I would be gone. Before leaving, my husband kindly packed up a cooler for me with good foods (grass fed burgers, brussel sprouts, raw veggies, raw nuts, and coconut flakes) and lots of water. This cooler did me well as I was able to stick with healthy choices on the road as well as for several days while I was with family.

Second, I made plans to go to my brother's gym. These workouts were important as it was a stressful time and without the sweat time, I think it would have been even more stressful. On those days that it didn't make sense to go to the gym, I took long walks. These longs walks proved to be good for the soul as well. It gave me time to reflect on things.

Third, I was not perfect but I made the choice to eat things I would not eat around here because spending time with family was much more important than being "perfect." There were several meals out at local restaurants, where the choices are not always the most healthy. I did make adjustments whenever possible. There was also the luncheon after the funeral that the families of the church my sister attended sponsored. Let's just say that potluck type meals in small town America have not changed much since I was a kid, with lots of jello salads and desserts. I so appreciate the kindness of these families.

Fourth, you never know who you will meet when you are on the road. I had made the decision to drive to Lincoln, Nebraska the first day on my way home. It is approximately 2/3rd of the way. I made a lot of stops and did a short hike along the Mississippi, but I really wanted to sweat. I knew that a good choice for a hotel along the road would be a Holiday Inn Express as they would have a fitness room. I saw a billboard for a Holiday Inn Express in Lincoln and knew it was on the west side of the city so a good choice to miss traffic the next day. When I got to the exit, I considered going on as I thought I could do another hour or so if I really wanted to do so. BUT I had told my husband I would stop in Lincoln and he had already called to see if I was stopping.

So, I stopped. At the check-in desk, I asked about the fitness room. The woman there pointed to it and then proceeded to tell me how she had recently lost 232 pounds. With that, I shared with her the two versions of my driver's license that I have in my wallet to show her the weight I had lost. We shared a bit about what we are both doing to lose weight and how much more we were trying to lose. It was an uplifting moment that I desperately needed at the time. I went to the fitness room and ran/walk on the treadmill for about an hour. It was a good workout. It was also good for me to share like that as it is not something I am used to doing and I tend to need to get to know a person before I trust them with any part of my life.

All in all, I did take care of myself quite well, even though it was such a hard week.

A post I wish I didn't have to write....

On Wednesday, October 2nd, my sister lost her battle with cancer. I already miss her so much. I think of her every day as I have since her diagnosis in April. I think of so many things to tell her. I feel guilty because I lived so far away and didn't get to see her much lately. I did fortunately visit this summer. I did not quite make it home in her final days, although I was on my way.

I am emotionally drained right now but am relieved that she is out of her pain and suffering. I am continually struck by the fact that life is not always fair. My sister did not "deserve" cancer. She never did anything to hurt anyone. Sure, she was human and she had her faults but she was a good person with a kind heart. I know that no one deserves to be stricken with cancer and it sucks that so many good people like her are suffering from the disease.

I was speaking with someone at the gym today who shared this poem with me --

What Cancer Cannot Do Poem

It cannot cripple love. It cannot shatter hope. It cannot corrode faith. It cannot eat away peace. It cannot destroy confidence. It cannot kill friendship. It cannot shut out memories. It cannot quench the spirit. It cannot silence courage. It cannot reduce eternal life.

This is such a great poem. I will tell you that we all had hope during her fight against this disease. I was looking forward to when she would be well enough to travel and I could take her to the Caribbean so she could finally relax on the beach. I know that she had so many people surrounding her that showed her love and care every day. I know that some very good people stepped up and this disease gave them the opportunity to grow friendships.

She was so courageous, fighting it as hard as she could and then when it was clear that the treatments just were not working, she had the courage to face it head on. She knew she was reaching the end but I understand she did not pity herself and did not want any crying in the room. She wanted no crying for her.


My family and I shared memories. We were surround by so many friends and family. My niece and I put together photo boards for the visitation time. I relived so many thing looking through the old photos. Spending time with my niece, I know that my sister did a great job in the one thing she felt was most important in that her daughter is a strong and wonderfully kindhearted young woman.

My sister may have lost the battle with cancer but we have not lost her. She will live on in our memories. We will carry on and do what we can honor her memory. I will miss her. I am sad that she is not with us anymore and I know I will have days that I will feel it more than others. She certainly did not get her final wish in that there have been many tears and there will be many more.

Lori, I wish I had told you what a beautiful woman you were. I know you know that I loved you. I know you know that I will miss you. I hope you also know that I will cherish so many memories of time spent with you.

 

What I have learned over the past few years...

is the quick fixes do not work for me. I am finding that making lifestyle changes, sustainable changes is what I need to do.

I mean how many times are we bombarded by the claims of various products that "you can lose 10 pounds in 7 days" "lose 20 inches in 10 days" "lose 30 pounds in 30 days" "lose weight without exercising" "lose weight while eating your favorite foods"....

I have fallen for many of these claims in the past and many times actually lost weight but would always gain it back....and more. So, I ended up poorer and fatter. In 2007, when I finally hit my critical mass point, I knew that I couldn't just look for a quick fix. I needed to figure out how to change things in my lifestyle in order to first lose weight but more importantly be healthy and sustain my weight loss.

Now, it has not always been easy but I am definitely more focused on real food and trying to find the right combination of macro nutrients is right for me...of course, that is also something that seems to change over time as well. I am more focused on the impact of certain foods on my body. For example, eggs and soy are two things that had to be eliminated from my diet as they seem to be inflammatory to me. The one thing that has not changed over the years is that I am sticking with real foods and not looking for a quick fix.

This has meant that my losses have not been quick but my blood work has been great. My losses have not been quick but I am strong and getting stronger. My losses have not been quick but I have learned a lot about my body and my health. My losses have not been quick but I have been able to accomplish things that I never thought I would. My losses have not been quick but I am losing fat and gaining/maintain muscle.

It is not always easy and I do get frustrated but I am not giving up and not giving in no matter how tempting the claims may appear....even those that are "clinically proven"...I am in this for the long run...my lifetime....