Sunday, October 13, 2013

A post I wish I didn't have to write....

On Wednesday, October 2nd, my sister lost her battle with cancer. I already miss her so much. I think of her every day as I have since her diagnosis in April. I think of so many things to tell her. I feel guilty because I lived so far away and didn't get to see her much lately. I did fortunately visit this summer. I did not quite make it home in her final days, although I was on my way.

I am emotionally drained right now but am relieved that she is out of her pain and suffering. I am continually struck by the fact that life is not always fair. My sister did not "deserve" cancer. She never did anything to hurt anyone. Sure, she was human and she had her faults but she was a good person with a kind heart. I know that no one deserves to be stricken with cancer and it sucks that so many good people like her are suffering from the disease.

I was speaking with someone at the gym today who shared this poem with me --

What Cancer Cannot Do Poem

It cannot cripple love. It cannot shatter hope. It cannot corrode faith. It cannot eat away peace. It cannot destroy confidence. It cannot kill friendship. It cannot shut out memories. It cannot quench the spirit. It cannot silence courage. It cannot reduce eternal life.

This is such a great poem. I will tell you that we all had hope during her fight against this disease. I was looking forward to when she would be well enough to travel and I could take her to the Caribbean so she could finally relax on the beach. I know that she had so many people surrounding her that showed her love and care every day. I know that some very good people stepped up and this disease gave them the opportunity to grow friendships.

She was so courageous, fighting it as hard as she could and then when it was clear that the treatments just were not working, she had the courage to face it head on. She knew she was reaching the end but I understand she did not pity herself and did not want any crying in the room. She wanted no crying for her.

My family and I shared memories. We were surround by so many friends and family. My niece and I put together photo boards for the visitation time. I relived so many thing looking through the old photos. Spending time with my niece, I know that my sister did a great job in the one thing she felt was most important in that her daughter is a strong and wonderfully kindhearted young woman.

My sister may have lost the battle with cancer but we have not lost her. She will live on in our memories. We will carry on and do what we can honor her memory. I will miss her. I am sad that she is not with us anymore and I know I will have days that I will feel it more than others. She certainly did not get her final wish in that there have been many tears and there will be many more.

Lori, I wish I had told you what a beautiful woman you were. I know you know that I loved you. I know you know that I will miss you. I hope you also know that I will cherish so many memories of time spent with you.



  1. Lynn, such a beautifully written post and tribute to your sister. I am so sorry for your loss.

  2. So sorry to hear of your loss. You've written a great tribute to your sister. Hugs. I will keep your family in my thoughts. Karen P

  3. I am so sorry to hear about your sister, take care of yourself.

  4. What you say about your sister is very loving. This pain you feel reflects what a beautiful person you are. If you can, ask for and rely on others for support. TLC for yourself, okay?

  5. Lynn, I have not been over to your blog before now, but what a beautifully written post. It does sometimes help the healing process to write down your feelings, I know it has helped me in the past when I have experienced loss. Although I don't know you, I send my sincere condolences, and I know you will treasure memories and photographs in the coming weeks, months and years. Time is precious but friends and family do live on in our hearts.

    God Bless

    All the best Jan.