Sunday, June 30, 2013

10,000 steps and progress on attitude adjustment

So, I am on a mission to get at least 10,000 steps a day right now....which isn't too bad but a bit annoying with the air cast on. My first day I didn't quite make it, finishing with just over 9,800 steps. Saturday was a better day. I had over 13,000 steps (13,676 to be exact). Today I am over 12,500 (12,601 to be exact) and that was with having my fitbit off to charge while I got ready for the day. All in all, I am very happy about this. By the way, I bought a fitbit. It helps me track my steps and my sleep pattern. I am very happy with it so far.

As far as my attitude adjustment, that is going better too. I have been working out with the hand bike at the gym. Not that most exciting thing but it is what I need to do right now. I started physical therapy on my ankle. I hate every minute of the exercises but I am doing them anyway because I need to. I want my ankle and foot to be stronger and this will get me there.

One thing I did that I maybe should have thought about again before doing was a stair climb this weekend. BUT I needed to do it. I did not do the whole thing but I did well over 75% of it and I feel good about it. The stair climb was at Mile High football stadium and you walk the steps all around the lower bowl of the stadium. In one end of the stadium, climbers went to the top for a few aisles. I skipped that part. The down was the hardest part on my foot/ankle and I didn't think it would be wise to be up high and struggling to walk down. Plus I promised my husband I would take it easy. 

So, even though it was a bit embarrassing to ignore the instructions from the volunteers and just continue on the lower bowl, I got through it. It was still a good workout and I am satisfied that completed the event as best I could at the time. I allowed people to tell me that I did a good job. I avoided sinking into the depressed idea that I didn't do it all so I failed. Yep, I am working on that attitude!

Thursday, June 27, 2013

So done with feeling sorry for myself

Yep. Done. This week has been hard. This month has been hard. Hell, this year has been hard. But I am done with letting my emotions get the best of me.

After being all out of sorts watching the rest of the fitness class do a stellar work last night while I was on the hand bike, I realized something has to change. I just haven't been happy about my progress in the health and fitness realm since the beginning of the year.

So, what is going to change? First of all, my more weepy shit. No more whining.  I am going to swallow my pride and do what I can at the gym. I am going to listen to the physical therapist when I start to see her on Friday. If she approves, I am going to sign up for the RnR half.

I am going to confess that some of my eating patterns  have been for comfort and emotion. While I can tell myself that it's okay because It's gluten free, I know it isn't. No more gluten free crackers....hummus....starches after my pre workout snack. I am going to take my recommended supplements without attitude. I am going to have that late night protein shake as advised. I am staying off the scale.

I am not going to let my perceived attitude of others distract me from my goals. I am going to get my 10000 steps in a day. I am going to be as active as I can be within the parameters set by my trainer and the pt person.

All these things I resolve here and now. For I am stronger than my emotions....I have sisu and I can get through this.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

When stubbornness gets in the way....

I always feel like I have to prove myself...many times it is not a bad thing to try just a bit harder to prove that I can do things. I mean, if I didn't, I wouldn't have discovered running. I would never have gone to my first kettlebell class. I would never have joined a gym. AND I definitely never would have done a stair climb.

But there are times that the need to prove that I can do things is detrimental. That is where I am at today as I have spent the last 40 hours with crutches. Yes, crutches. You see, I had hurt myself on the treadmill over a week ago but I kept pushing it because I did not want to be the person that was always injured and thought that I could push through injury. That Saturday I could barely walk but I iced all day and it was better. I did the Color Run on Sunday but found I hard to walk most of it as it just hurt too much to run.

I was careful at the gym, not using the treadmill but the AMT machine to be less weight bearing. At Monday's circuit class, it was okay as I modified many of the things like lunges that really bothered my foot. Wednesday's treadmill workout was moved to the recumbent bike and another machine that was less impact than the treadmill. The trainer really wanted me to get my foot checked out but I did not think it was any big deal since I was getting better.

Then Friday came. It had been one week since my foot first started bothering me. We were doing a workout on the turf. I like turf workouts. I like pushing myself a bit. Ben (trainer) had me modifying some of the movements to protect my foot but honestly it made me feel like I was taking the easy way out. I mean, squats instead of burbees are definitely much easier. He did have a tractor tire out for one of the movements...foot taps, which I also could not do. BUT I love to flip tires. I have always loved to flip tires. I did it a couple of times but Ben warned me that it was not a good idea.

At the end of the workout, I still felt like I had underperformed others in the workout and I don't like that feeling. So, I wanted to flip the tire. In my stubborn mind, I figured it was just a squat movement, which I had been doing all class. Ben again warned me not to do it but if I was going to do it, do it right. So, I concentrated on it and squatted to lift the tire. It was just as I was lifting the tire that I heard and felt a pop in my foot. The pain was pretty bad. Of course, it got more embarrassing as they called 911 and all these people from the gym came in to check things out. 

So, the hospital is right across the street from the gym. I refused the ambulance ride over but was asked to take the wheelchair to my car. I drove to the ER and had images taken. Nothing broken but crutches for 48 hours was the prescription. I have a air cast and after tonight can start seeing how it feels with the cast and some weight. If it is okay, I only need the cast and can leave the crutches behind. I am really hoping it feels okay.

I have been icing as instructed. I am staying off it as instructed. I am taking Advil as instructed. Fortunately, only needed one Vicodin as it knocks me out. Getting around on crutches is not easy. The dogs do not know what to think. The 99 pound bulldog puppy is not sure if he should be scared of the crutches or attack them. 

I think I learned a lesson...yet another lesson that I thought I had already learned about listening to people and not needing to continually prove that I belong in the the life.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

When in Colorado....

do as Coloradans do....right? I am discovering hiking. I am not going crazy or extreme but I am starting to enjoy time in the outdoors...more than just walking the bike path. I am starting to enjoy a bit of hiking around the local area.

Last year I found the Manitou Incline and went there a couple of times.  I love the challenge of the climb. After being so frustrated and feeling the need to do something to prove my progress, I wanted to go to the incline this past weekend; however, so did everyone else in Colorado (or so it seemed). The one thing about the incline is that there really is not a large amount of parking. So, rather than spend time searching for parking or adding a long walk from the town of Manitou Springs, I decided to find another hike. 

On the way out of Colorado Springs, I realized that I have never been to the Garden of the Gods. So, I zipped over and easily found parking. Walking to the hiking trails, I saw that I could pretty much stay on one trail and get some mileage in and maybe some hill climbing too. So, I headed out. There were plenty of people around and I wasn't going to deep into the trails, so I felt it would be a good day....and it was. I ended up hiking down one trail and then needing to find a restroom. Funny thing is that the restrooms were back in the parking lot I had parked in so I had to circle back and start all over again about 30 minutes into my hike. 

I ended up doing 3.3 miles and having a great time just being alone with my thoughts. I went down some hills but nothing like the incline. It was also something that I really like about running...the solitude of it all. 

Here are some photos from the hike:

My Garmin report on the elevation changes of the hike:


My mood is improving. I had a good appointment with my nutritionist. I had done some blood work to confirm that there were no issues with my thyroid. There are not and I am thankful for that. We talked about continuing the work to resolve issues with my adrenals and cortisol levels. I am giving up caffeine for now...which sounded a lot easier when I decided to do it than it has been this weekend. I am tracking my food so she can review and see if there are any holes in what I am consuming. Just the action of tracking has been a good thing as I am concentrating on getting in the meals and snack she has been recommending. We will see if this helps.

I will blog as I start hiking through the summer.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Bitch bitch whine whine whine....

Yep....that's all I have been doing for the last couple of days. I know that I am just letting stress get to me. There is a lot going on at work and my home is in disarray because of some remodeling we are doing. THEN I did the unthinkable....I stepped on the scale and let that destroy my day.

I am still going through the steps of a metabolic reset and trying to booster my adrenals. This means that I have not been working out nearly as hard as I have in the past or as much. I have gone from two workouts a day, typically an hour or more each to some days a 45 minute workout in zone 1. So, when I stepped on the scale (which I do not do that often) and saw a three pound gain from the last time I stepped on it, well, all I could see was that I was ballooning back up to where I started. I went through a tear filled day that day. Everything set me off.

As frustrated as I am, I am not giving up. I think that is important to put out there. I am afraid to give up. I may be on the cusp of finally reaping rewards of my hard work. It would be disastrous if I gave up now, wouldn't it? Honestly, I am afraid to give up. I have finally found people that I believe in to help me. I trust them. I am trying to trust the process they have me going through.
I do know that this whole process at the gym has been mentally trying as I have not been able to measure success as of yet. I have been able to run more lately and it feels good but I am not back up to the amount of running I was doing. I have sprinted faster than I have even sprinter before, well, on the treadmill. I can squat lower. All of these things are good but not necessarily signs of metabolic improvement.

There are none of the positive non-scale signs that everyone reminds me about....clothes fitting better, better sleep, etc. but I keep looking for them. So, there it "bitch bitch whine whine whine" post. Today I will plant my garden and start to get my house back into some semblance of a home....and I may try to catch up a bit at work. BUT I am also going to take some long walks with my pups. I need some mental down time.