Rethinking my list of 50 things....

First, here is my latest item that is achieved, the periwinkle tattoo. I sat for it Saturday. It was not the most pleasant experience but it wasn't horrible either. The worst part was that I did a lot of squats and lunges that morning. Sitting for two hours was not easy.

I am reworking my list. It may not seem right to some of you but I stated it earlier that I would change what I need to change as the year went on. Some items will be moved to a "bucket list" for future consideration.

Reasons for the rework -- I'm not running. I am done with it for now. I need to replace those items on my list. The other reasons involved time/money...mostly time. I am not sure I will be able to get the travel in that I was planning on this year. I am taking some days off to do some other activities around here so I will not have a lot of vacation days to allot to the travel aspects of things. As I have discovered how much I love Olympic lifting and how much I enjoy working with my trainer. I want to continue to do this and not stress about the financial aspects of it. So, I am making the decision to forgo some of the travel.

So, I will be reworking it over the next few days and posting an update soon.

When you and your dog can fit into your clothes, is it time to purge?

I know it's silly but I have a hard time letting go of some things....clothing in particular. Part of it is because I hate shopping to replace the clothing. Part of it is because it is a bit of a safety net. Most of it is because some of the pieces represent a comfort zone that is hard for me to leave. This is particularly true of my jean jacket. I remember being so relieved when this jacket finally fit me.

When I first started wearing it, the sleeves were tight and it barely buttoned....but that was okay. It was a jean jacket, something that I made me feel good when I wore it. Since I hate shopping and fashion so much and of course because of my size, I didn't really have anything that made me feel good.

Over the past few years, I continued to wear the jacket, even though it was looser and looser every time I wore it. Lately I have started to purge items from my closet. I have realized that part of the issues with my feelings of lack of progress is that I am still wearing clothes that are falling off of me. Some of these clothes I stuffed myself into when I weighed my highest weight. I am not really sure how. I blogged about jeans that I had to get rid of here. During Lent, I donated forty pieces of clothing.

Now that both me and one of my dogs can fit into this jacket, it is time for it to go. It is hard to get rid of it. I liked this jacket but it is time to let go. The jeans I have on in the photo below are also close to hitting the donation pile. This all means that I have to go shopping....UGH....but wearing clothes that actually fit me and are a much smaller size is a boost to my ego! It is silly as it is, it is a big step out of that comfort zone.

Starting to believe...

People keep telling me that they see changes in my physique. People keep coming to me and saying that it's obvious I lost weight. People keep telling me to ignore the scale. People keep telling me to just relax about it.

Well, I'm finally starting to believe...and am definitely seeing changes. Just this week, I am piling up even more clothes that I just can't wear any more. I have gone shopping twice and ended up with pants that are several sizes smaller than the ones I am donating. I need more clothes but just hate shopping.

I am lifting heavier weights. I am working out hard but also taking my rest days. I am healthier. I have great blood work results. I am calmer. I am more confident. I am happier. I am loving life.

Yep, I may have been down...but I get back up.

Just a new mantra....

Not sure I need to say much more other than it's time for me to start living like I believe this!

Random thoughts on a snowy Sunday in May

Only you can take charge of your health.....but support does help

I listened to an online seminar on thyroid health last weekend. One thing that struck me was a line by Chris Kresser. He said that "no one is more invested in my health than me." While you can listen to others about what you should do to make your health better, ultimately it is your responsibility to be invested in your life...to want to make the necessary changes....to learn as much as you can to make good decisions...to seek out trusted advisers....and to be invested in your health.

That being said, it is good to have strong support too. One Saturday I got sucked into a Discovery Health show, something like "My 600 pound life." It was the story of people who were around 600 pounds and opting for gastric bypass. While I have my own opinions on the surgery option, that is not the point here. What realized after watching this show that I am very lucky to have a husband that is fully supportive of the changes I am making in my life.

This particular show I watched the woman was tortured by her husband who didn't want her to get thin. He married her because of her weight. She needed to come to grip with the fact that she was doing this for herself and not for him. As far as he went, she couldn't do anything to change his attitude. She could only be invested in herself. I certainly hope that she was able to work out things for herself.

My husband is amazing and only wants me to be happy. He is proud of me and let me know how he feels constantly. I can't express how much his support means to me. I loved him before my transformation started but now that I have started to love myself, I love him even more, with my whole heart. It's amazing what changes occur when you view yourself as worthy.

Shopping

I hate shopping but yesterday my husband told me that I just couldn't wear the jeans I had on any more. So, off I went to look for new jeans. Even though the scale isn't moving, I certainly am losing inches. That is a good thing. BUT I hate shopping more than anything and it was made worse by the fact that I seem to be between sizes...or just have a weird body shape. Waist way too big in the size that fits in the legs. Legs too tight when the waist fits. I did finally find one pair of capris and a pair of jeans (which are three sizes smaller than the ones I am getting rid of).

The gym

I participated in a 90-day challenge this spring at the gym. It was a weight loss competition. Honestly, I didn't really lose any weight. I did lost body fat but the scale pretty stayed where it was at the beginning of the challenge. I however am not disappointed about it. I managed to stick with my attitude that it is more than about the number on the scale.

I am loving my lifting. I am learning a lot about good form and practicing. People have commented on my form for both my deadlift and my squat. It feels good that, if people have to notice things, they are noticing something that I am working on.

Food

I recently took a food allergy test. It has led to some changes in what I am eating. Most notably dairy is out for now. This has meant a change from my whey protein to a vegan version. I have not been happy about it but I am surviving. It is odd but even though I do pay attention to food labels, with this new list of things to avoid, it has become even more difficult. I am dealing with it and in general feel pretty good about it all.

Susan G. Komen  training

I am going to officially start training for the Susan G. Komen this coming week. They send you a 24 week training programming that I am loosely going to follow. For the most part, I am going to do the weekend walks and some walking during the week. I already am focused on getting my 13,000 plus steps in each day. I have gone for some long walks this spring. Now it's time to get the back to back walks on the weekend. I am close on the fund raising with a just few more hundred to go to make the minimum of $2300.

Miscellaneous

It's May and snowing. Such is springtime in the Rockies. 

I need to work on my 50 things to do this year. I am not running so I have some things to revise. If anyone has any ideas, let me know.

 

I'm not a runner....and I'm okay with that...

In the past, I always thought of running as the ultimate in fitness. I have thought that to prove my fitness, I need to run more and more. I needed to build endurance and run longer and longer events. To me, if I couldn't run more each week, I was failing at building my fitness. Everyone seemed to be a runner. I subscribed to running blogs and read over and over about all the great things people were doing, thinking that I need to do them too. I knew I would never be fast but at least I would have endurance. I felt that the only way to prove my increased fitness was to continue running.

Recently, I am finally becoming convinced that I can't do everything and that I am probably at danger of over training again. I need to get a handle on things. I can't run, lift weights, and do all the other things I like. AND most importantly, I just really do not like running. I still have issues with my foot/ankle from last summer. Running aggravates it. So, I have decided that I am not longer going to attempt to be a runner.

There were a few reasons I chose to run. First, my friends were running. I will still be there to support my friends. I will be seen in the crowd holding signs. Second, I like to be outside running but I can be outside walking, hiking and doing other things. Third, I like events. I will still be doing my stair climbing events and walking events but I will likely not be doing another running event for some time. I can always volunteer at events as well.

While I still may incorporate some sprinting (well, running intervals) from time to time, training for running events will not be a part of my life. I will not say that I will never train again but right now I am accepting the fact I can't do everything. I am going to concentrate more on my strength training because I want to be stronger. I want to lift heavier weights. I want to do what I enjoy, which involves lifting. With strength training, I have gained an immense amount of confidence. I want to continue to work on that. I love kettlebell workouts and I want to work with them more once again. I want to work on my cleans, my kettlebell snatch, and some day perfect the Turkish getup. I also want to learn additional lifting movements. I want to learn more about how to improve the lifts I already know.

This does not mean that I won't be doing cardio. I will but it will not be the focus of my training regiment. I will train with my heart rate zone intervals but it may not be with running. I will be doing body weight workouts. I will be working on mobility and flexibility.

Today was my last "running" event for some time. I really did not run much but I felt good about it. I enjoyed my time with friends on the course. It was okay that we walked a lot. I no longer feel like I need to prove anything. I am not a runner...and I'm okay with that.

Brussels Sprouts and Massages

These two items may not seem to have a lot in common but to me, they are both signs of how much my life has changed. Somehow I have become a person that likes Brussels sprouts....and massages.

While there have always been some vegetables that I have liked, things like Brussels sprouts, asparagus, zucchini, snap peas, kale, chard, and several other things are relatively new to my lifestyle. It is still a bit strange when I actually crave things like Brussels sprouts or some other vegetable or when I actually prefer to have "zoodles" for dinner. I have totally overhauled my diet and, although I still struggle with a few things, I feel so much better eating whole and real food. There is very little processed foods in my diet.

Having gone through a few elimination diets, I have found a few things to which my body reacts negatively. Not satisfied that I had enough information, I just followed up with a food sensitivity test. I found out a few more things that could potentially be causing inflammation. I am now working on eliminating these things for a few months in order to see how I feel when I reintroduce the foods. One of the biggest items is all dairy products. I have kind of known that I should give up dairy but have not been able to do so. Now I am committed to doing this, even though I have not found a protein powder yet to replace my whey protein.

As far as massages, well, in case you didn't know, I am an introvert. I am not someone that feels at ease with strangers. I especially do not like being touched by people I don't know. I am not a huggy feely kind of person. A few years ago, I started to step out of that comfort zone. During a visit to a spa in Utah (a week where I stepped out of my comfort zone over and over again), I decided to get a massage. To me, a massage was something I never considered. I was not looking forward to it at all. In fact, I contemplated cancelling the appointment several times. Speaking with some other women at the spa (another step out of my comfort zone in that I was actually interacting with other guest of the spa, sitting at the community table at dinner, going on hikes), they convinced me to follow through with it. I did....and I loved it.

Since then, I have gotten a handful of massages. Last night I had my latest with a masseuse that I have been to twice before. I like her. She is learning a lot about my muscles and what pressure to use on my back. We talk about my training and how things are going with my workouts. I fill her in on the most recent pains and such. It's a new experience for me but, even though I hesitate and consider cancelling each appointment, I am following through and my body is happy about it. I find it much more relaxing than I ever thought I would. Of course, the financial aspect of massages does not allow for this to be any more than an occasional indulgence.

So, I am stepping outside of that comfort zone over and over again. My trainer continues to push me out of it. I have friends that push me out of it over and over. I find that I am putting myself out of that comfort area more often as the months pass. With each step outside it, I discover more about myself and realize that I am much stronger than I think I am.